Drama...

Woke up this morning and spent 3 hours on the phone with various people. By the time I put the phone down, it was already 11am. Time to make a quick dash to Batu Caves for (hopefully) 6 laps of stairs, shower and pop into the office. Sounds like a simple plan, right? How wrong could I be...

The sun was high in the sky when I rolled into the car park. Several tour buses just arrived and spewed streams of tourists, totting cameras and water bottles.

I set the workout tracking software on my phone and started the 1st lap, working up a healthy perspiration. Halfway through my second lap, I got a call from my client in Klang. So I stopped by the side railings and attended to his call. Several tourists passed me by.

All of a sudden I heard a faint puncturing sound and a hiss. Then felt a slight jab on my right shoulder. I turned and looked into this hissing simian face. Phreak! The blurdy monkey bit me!

I moved away in haste but was still talking to my client. He was going on about how he felt about my latest audit report blah blah... I was pacifying him and figuring out a solution while continuing my climb to the top of the stairs. All this while my wound was bleeding a trail down my arm.

When I finally manage to placate him and cut the connection, it was a good 5 minutes past. First thing's first, call JH. He confirmed that I should go to the nearest clinic and seek treatment. Ok... Easy enough.

While I was setting the GPS to direct me to the nearest clinic (thank God for this wonder device), JH called again to tell me to go to the hospital instead. Apparently, hospitals are better equipped to deal with such emergencies. So I reset the GPS to General Hospital, KL.

Next, call my cousin (Dr PL) in GHKL for instructions, i.e. where to check myself in. I am to go to the A&E (accident & emergency).

The 7.2km (as the GPS says) drive to GHKL was spent on the phone with the office, my mom and uncle and a couple of friends who called to make lunch plans. Only my mom didn't laugh when I told her I got bitten by a monkey. Also took a photo of the wound while waiting at a traffic light.

Arriving at the hospital and looking for a parking was a nightmare. It was visiting hours and all visitor parking spaces were taken. I had to park about a mile away and, totting my notebook pack, walk that mile to the A&E.

When I got to the triage window and told the fellow behind the counter that I got bitten by a monkey, he looked enquiringly at my face to see if I was joking. I showed him my bloodied arm.

After getting my blood pressure checked, I got an anti-tetanus jab and got my wound dressed. Not before the nurse had a go at me ("monyet tu gigit you sebab you terlalu seksi kot"). Yeah... That's comforting. I got bitten by a female monkey!

Now the waiting begins. Wait for myself to be registered and given a queue number. Wait to see the doctor. I was #130.

I whiled the time away watching tv and people. For the time that I was in the emergency room, I was the only Chinese. Tells you something, doesn't it?

My turn came to see the doctor. He asked me what happened. I told him I got bitten by a monkey and he had this "oh-oh" look on his face. He looked at me and I could tell that he was trying to figure out whether to take me seriously or not.

When he figured that I wasn't kidding, he tried to cover up the "oh-no-what-to-do-now" look on his face. He looked through a pile of books on his table and asked his assistant to the "black book". She gave it to him and the cover says: Emergency Solutions. G-R-E-A-T!

Bad news! His book only covered dog/cat bite. He left the room (presumably to consult with his colleagues) and came back with a crest fallen look on his face. He daren't meet my eyes when he told me to wait outside the consultation room and he will come get me later. At this point, nothing can surprise me. Maybe it was post-traumatic shock.

More time passed when a nurse called out my name. I went into the see the doctor and he had written out a prescription for antibiotics and a slip instructing me to go to the nearest clinic to get a daily dressing for my wound.

On the left column on the slip was written "monkey bite" under "penyakit". I didn't know it was a disease *lol*

I took a walk to the main pharmacy and took another queue number (#4320). While waiting, I went to the cafeteria for a sandwich. Hadn't eaten all day. Felt kinda selfconscious with the big piece of gauze sticking out of my shoulder like a piece of armour, so I packed and left. Sides, the aroma in the cafeteria made me feel slightly sick.

My queue number was called. I received 2 foil-packed antibiotics. You know it's expensive stuff when they pack it in foil. That done, I trekked back to my car and drove home. All in all, I spent 2.5 hours at the hospital. Not bad for government service.

Dr PL called to asked how things were. I told her the episode with the doctor. It turns out when he left the room, he put out an enquiry to all the medical staff in the hospital. Dr PL's colleague told her while they were making their rounds at the wards and her colleague commented: who would get bitten by a monkey in KL? To which Dr PL said: that's my cousin!

It turns out that Dr Get-Help prescribed me a top of the line antibiotic which costs RM6 per tablet (I received 14 tablets in total). If I were to have gone to a regular, private clinic for treatment, this whole ordeal would have easily cost me RM50 not inclusive of medication. Guess how much I paid at GHKL?

That's my tax dollars put to good use! (",)

Anyways, here's a look at the wound in the evening.

Incidentally, I think Dr Get-Help went on the Net for solutions because I found this site when I got home (http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/768875-treatment).