Two months after the Chinese lunar new year, grandma started sorting through her jewellery and gave instructions to my mom and aunt as to whom each piece was to go to in event of her passing. I was to take a photo of each item and tag it with her voice recording.
Having dealt with the major items, she showed me the remaining odds and ends and asked me to choose one. I picked the bangle simply because I have the baby version of it.
I wore it often as it made me feel close to grandma. It reminded me of the time she told me a secret.
She had a mild stroke shortly after the lunar new year. After her discharge from hospital, I went back to visit her. When she saw me, she tearfully said, "Amak boh yong" (I am useless). She felt bad for falling ill and making us worry. I wiped away her tears, hugged and kissed her, held her hands and told her that it's not her fault. She then told me that I was her favourite grandchild. No ones else heard except mom
It was after this incident that she decided to put her affairs in order. Before that, she never wanted to even speak about her wishes for "send-off", the ceremony rites or her will. But after that stroke, she asked my mom to engage a will writer and made plans for her possssions.
A few months after her will was signed, her health started to deteriorate. She was in the hospital for longer stretches each time. I went home every weekend to be with her sometimes working from her bedside at the hospital.
Mid-April, she suffered several successive fits attacks and became unconsciousness. She regained consciousness shortly before her birthday and was discharged from hospital. There was nothing more that the doctors could do.
Grandma went home and passed away 4 days after her 84th birthday. It was a Thursday.
Had she known that her time with us was running out? Was that why she gave me a momento while she was alert and well? Was she also preparing us when she was preparing her will?
blogging from my E71
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