40 things you'd like to say out loud at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your a**?

40. Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Where not to eat..

If ever you happen to go to PJ Old Town, there is a food circus.. er.. I mean.. food court diagonally across the traffic-lighted crossroads from Public Bank. If you also happen to be hungry, this is as good a place as any to find good food for a reasonable price... with one exception but we'll get to that later.

All the establishments here seem quite.. well.. established (",) with a steady stream of customers and all available tables taken. Never mind that the weather outside was sweltering hot and humid, the patrons keep coming in. Luckily, the drink sellers were prepared with their renditions of ice kacang and '"leong sui" (herbal tea)

There is this particularly well patronised stall that sells "char-siu" (barbequed, glazed pork), "siu-yok" (barbequed belly pork) and "siu-kai" (barbequed chicken) available with your choice of rice or porridge (congee to some folks).

Now, my boyfriend LOVES pork. Ergo, he made a bee-line for this stall and ordered "chair-siu-kai" (which is a combination of equal portions of each served with rice, for the benefit of those who are not well-versed with Chinese fare).

As he sat down at our table, he kept a firm eye on Stall 41 and noted that there was never a time when there weren't people standing on the sidelines, waiting for their take-away orders. The only server manning the tables was a harried Indonesian lady but she was efficient.

When his order came (cost him RM4.50), the portions were too small for his liking, so he decided to add a side order of "siu-yok". This came shortly after in an even smaller portion (yes, it was possible!) at a staggerring RM3!

I counted that there were only 7 bite-sized pieces of pork with 2 slices of cucumber and a careless garnish of chinese parsley. Wow! The only excuse for such a steep price tag would be the taste. So we each picked out a piece and chomped down, fully anticipating a good treat for our palate.

Alas..! Disappointments abound. There were no taste explosions. No heavenly amalgamation of flavours just regular barbequed pork. Nothing remotely spectacular about that taste to warrant the premium pricing *sigh* What a disappointment :(

I wonder if there is a "char-siu" sellers' association that I can refer to for guidelines on price setting?