My dad is my hero. He brought me up the way all typical, olden-day Chinese dads do: keeping a stiff upper-lip and is hands-free in my up-bringing (he leaves it to mum). He never praised me in front of anybody and down-played praises by well.. anybody. It's not that he isn't proud of me, he is, it's just the conservative Chinese way. However, lately, he's been taking over the role of mum, i.e. nagging, scolding and when all else fails, resorts to emotional blackmail and 'cold wars'.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining that my dad is conniving or sly, he's just reaching out to me in the only way he knows how. You see, growing up with a dad conditioned me to be close to mum while maintaining a cordial and respectful distance (physically and emotionally) from dad. Mum says something, I listen. Dad says something, I ask mum if I should listen :) So I get it that he feels insecure and therefore the theaterics.
Take this New Year weekend for instance. I called dad up on Friday to discus holiday plans. He said, quite nonchalantly, "You're not coming back (to my hometown) for New Year?". Now when dad says that, he means, "I want you to come back". So I mulled over it, taking into consideration the mass influx of people who will be travelling back to the Klang Valley from their galivanting a.k.a. "cuti-cuti Malaysia", I called him again to hint at not going back in lieu of the anticipated traffic jams to which he replied: There is no jam if you take the old (trunk) road. So there... Dad has decided.
So drawing from all my years of growing up with dad, I called up mum (naturally, this being the 21st century, it means calling mum's mobile phone as opposed to just asking dad to pass the line) to ask her opinion. To cut a long story short, mum said, "Don't bother coming back" and so here I am, holed up in my city home, blogging :) Dad won't be happy but mum has spoken.
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